This Is Me...

Army Letters

Going to sleep in tears tonight…. Once again..

Asking Him To My Prom

So I made two posters., one poster said., “Stefan Myers ——>” and the second poster said “Prom??”

Everyone but him knew all about this., his whole family.!

His mom and him showed up to the field where I was there waiting for him at the gate. I gave him and his mom a hug as i greeted them individually. I took out the blind-fold., lol he was hesitant and debating as I tried to put it on him.! haha =]

I guided him to the ramp of the home bleachers and then I took off his blindfold and he read the first poster., “Stefan Myers——>” he continued up the ramp as I said., “I’ll wait down here” and when he reached the top of the bleachers he read the second poster.

I was waiting for a while until I realized he wasn’t going to come down so I was forced to walk up there.. as soon as I got to the top he looked at me with a big smile and nodded.!

A huge sense of relief came over me. =] his mom was smiling and taking plenty of pictures.. it was cold today so we left early.. and he took down the posters and kept them.! <3

The more he smiled.. the more I smiled..

I’m not usually so straightforward but.. he doesn’t go to my school so if he were to ask me to my prom., yeah., that would be weird.!

An Ordinary Day..

Today everyone starts to count down the days until their birthday…
In all honesty I used to do that too..
But this year it’ll just be any ordinary day…

You used to tell me “girl., hurry up and turn 18 so I can take you out!!!”
Now that I’m turning 18., you’re not going to be here.. :(
Celebrating it any other way than how I was planning on celebrating it with yu a couple years ago just won’t be the same…

April 26th will be just another ordinary day.. :’(

_ArmySisterrr♥

In a Circleee

Now that you’re back in my life., I’m realizing how much of my life and the joys in it were taken up by you.!

I’m realizing how much i actually truly do miss you.. how much i truly do miss us..

“They say if you love something let it go and if it comes back then its real”

If that’s the quote you’re going by., then i really wish you wouldn’t have let me go in the first place and should’ve known from the get go that it is real..

But now I’m sitting here expressing how i feel without knowing how you feel and that kills… it would be a whole lot easier if i knew whether or not you feel the same way… which i don’t believe you do but there’s always that little string of hope that i hang by hoping that you do still think of me as much as i think of you or think about us as much as i do or even miss the memories and moments we had as much as i miss our cute moments..

It kills me that I’m constantly having to remind myself that things aren’t how they used to be between us and they most likely never will be like that again…

If one day you do decide to come back out here, my fear is that we wont be able to rekindle what i know was theree..

It kills even more to have had me fully fooled in thinking everything was fine and perfect but from one night to the next., everything that i thought was perfect was taken from me in just a few hours… how could i have been that selfish and not thought of you.. how could i have been so blind and not have seen this coming… how could i have not asked about your feelings and opinions… I’m so sorry..

they say “be careful what you wish for.”

but honestly., i wish none of this would have ever happened.. i wish you never would’ve came out here.. i wish things could’ve been different..

Sometimes i think that if things could’ve been postponed then none of this would’ve ever happened and things between us would’ve never crumbled right through my handss…

CrossRoadss

I want to be with you., but at the same time i dont because of alot of things..

I want to be with you., but i dont want to be the one to hurt you in the end..

I want to be with you., but i dont know if i want a relationship..

I want to be with you., but im just so so sooo confusedd…

Too Much.!!

Alright., so its been a while since i actually opened up..

truth is., at first i actually thought i found the one.,

we were soo much alike its rediculous.,

we never argued but agreed to disagree…

that ended.. after that., i met someone who is diff than me and things were a bit rough but when we were together things seemed just perfect…

Im starting a new life soon though., should i go in single nd wanting to meet new people.?! i want to..

im done with the games.. im no longer going to even think that any guy in the lake county area is worth it cuz he most deffinately is not.!!

i need someone who is grown and done with the bs nd ready for something real.. just like me.! ohh god..

when will i find this kind of person..?! well., i think i’ll leave that up to god..

this is me.. this is my story.. and you DONT have to be a part of it…

Emotional Ridess..

See the thing is.,

Rollercoasters were never really my thing.,

And I’d perfer a smooth ride over a bumpy road anyday.!

_LetsGetItTogetherr<3